the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
