i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
