he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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