You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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