I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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