So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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