You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
