Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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