anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
