what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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