Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
i think i just lost a toe
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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