Buhtt sex?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
