I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
