Tell her she can't have a vagina
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
