Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
