Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
