if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
