Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
