16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
