Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
