He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It's shark week go big or go home
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
