let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
