OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
how does that bad decision feel?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
