So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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