cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
