3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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