I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
