Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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