K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
