All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
