Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
