16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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