matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
