I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
