I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
