theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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