Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
