my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
