First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
