he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
