I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
