I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
