So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
