At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
