first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize