I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
