hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
