Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Can you bring me the toilet please
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
