At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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