i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
