Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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