my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
